Is It Okay to Question What I Was Taught About Purity?
Is it okay to question what I was taught about purity?
Simple answer, 100% yes.
This question breaks my heart, because it is always okay to question what you have been taught. Taking our doubts, questions, and wonders to Jesus and scripture is always a good idea; in fact, it is the best path forward. Our pastors and youth leaders are only human. Just because they hold degrees or stand on a stage doesn’t mean they are always delivering truth; they are just as fallen and in need of Jesus as everyone else, and they will get it wrong sometimes.
In my experience with purity culture, I honestly believe my leaders were doing the best they could with what they had. They were not purposely trying to tangle me up in legalism, shame, or keep me silent in my own sin, but they still did their damage. Purity culture was born out of good intentions as a response to the free sex movement and the rise of sexually transmitted diseases. Purity culture originated from a desire to keep young people safe and healthy. But even with the best of intentions, reacting to a situation instead of responding to it will most likely lead to hurt and miscommunication. We have to let go of the idea that pastors and leaders in the church always get it right, because they don’t and won’t, because they are not Jesus.
Deconstructing isn’t about walking away from Jesus and making your own cocktail of religion, but instead building a faith that is strongly rooted in Jesus, not in Christian leadership. We humans have added and subtracted important words from scripture to justify our own perspectives. We have sacrificed God’s word in order to follow our own thoughts and ways, and in the case of purity culture, pressure and shame have been left in its place.
I don’t know your questions about purity, but please feel free to ask them. Take them to Jesus in prayer. Open up your Bible and hunt. And please talk to others you trust as you ask questions. There are plenty of Christians who don’t want you to trust leadership blindly and never dare question it. Asking questions is good and a sign that you want to know what is true, not wanting to set fire to the church, but to know God and what He has to say. I hope you find someone to chat with.
God has a lot to say about purity, and yes, sexual purity is a part of what He has to say, but I found it’s not the main message He has for us on purity. And I can’t tell you how thankful I am that my purity isn’t contingent on me, but fully experienced and realized in the blood that Jesus shed for our sins. No matter what we do or don’t do, we are not pure without Jesus. There is nothing we can do to make ourselves pure, except believe in Jesus and accept His forgiveness and salvation.
That is what I found along the way as I asked my own questions. I wrote Forgotten Purity: A Devotional for Finding Freedom From the Lies of Purity Culture based on the answers I found when I delved into Scripture. I hope it will meet you in your own journey and give you a springboard to asking God your questions. Yes, friend, always ask the questions and don’t stop.
